24 Categories • 200+ Casualties
Could your hypothetical child have been something else entirely?
A dryly irresponsible quiz that shuffles the costs of parenthood into the sports cars, luxury travel, and silent Sunday mornings you signed away.
Setup Your Regret Baseline
Configure the baseline variables of your hypothetical offspring.
Number of Sprogs
How it works (and why it hurts a little)
1
Change a selector
Tweak any of the 12 choices to reflect your real-life chaos.
2
Watch the total update
We crunch the numbers in real time. Brutally.
3
Shuffle more alternatives
Our deck of 200+ outcomes serves up three at a time.
4
Share the one that hurts most
For debates, accountability or just a bit of perspective.